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Joke of the Day

"I had a break up with my clone the other day... I was being sincere by saying, Its not you, its me."

"Helen Keller walked into a bar... and then a table, and then a chair."

"Some days I ask, ""What would Chewbacca do?"" And the answer is always, ""Make that gargly roaring sound."" So that's what I do."

"Alcoholics don't run in my family They just stumble around and break stuff"

"[shipwreck diary] Day 3: dude next to me can hold his breath for 3 days. Going on 4. Very impressive."

"*12 pulls a gray hair out of my head* M: Wow, look at that! 12: Hang on. There's A LOT more! M: 12: Can I get paid for pulling these out?"

"I met a girl with 12 nipples today! Sounds fun.. Dozen tit"

"If heaven is real the only question i have for god is how many times was my chinese food a cat"

"What is the difference between a tire and a black man? The tire doesn't start singing when you chain it."

"My wife said I could cum in the other hole tonight. But for some reason she got angry when she saw me lying in bed with her friend."