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Joke of the Day

"There are only two types of people in this world People who can extrapolate from incomplete data."

"I can't wait till they invent the non automatic paper towel dispenser."

"If two vegetarians get into a fight Is it still considered beef?"

"What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it."

"My dog swallowed my engagement ring last night, but luckily coughed it out when he barked. There was a diamond in the ruff."

"When people ask why I have a ""Trump 2016"" sticker on my car I say it's for safety. When i'm pulled over, it's the quickest way to tell the Cop i'm white."

"I was thinking about making an elm tree joke.. But it's acorny one."

"Why didn't the lifeguard save the drowning hippie? Because he was too far out, man"

"I'm more emotionally invested in this sandwich than I am in most humans."

"Nobody's going to see a sticker on a telephone pole and then become a fan of your band."