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Joke of the Day

"What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it."

"If we could only get rid of the federal government this country could be a libertarian paradise like Somalia"

"On phone: GF: We're breaking up... Me: I can hear you fine! GF: It's not you, it's me... Me: Did you get a new provider? GF: Kinda... Bye!"

"An abstinence ring and a wedding ring are essentially the same thing. Both come with lack of sex."

"My girl's got the Dubstep of Periods... I'm waiting forever for it to drop"

"You know you have problems when you mentally click a ""like"" button every time you see something that pleases you.."

"Why aren't anal sex jokes funny? Because they tend to be inside jokes."

"Who are the fastest readers in the world? The people in the world trade center, these mother fuckers blew threw a hundred stories in two seconds!"

"Wow some neighbors really freak out when they wake up on a Sunday morning and find me making myself some pancakes in their kitchen"

"There are a ton of nihilists protesting downtown today... They're part of the #NoLivesMatter movement."