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Joke of the Day
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"Doctor: That deafness cure help your brother? Archie: Sure did! He hadn't heard a sound in years and the very day after he took that medicine he heard from America!"
"My girlfriend told me pissing during sex prevents pregnancy... She was right! She isn't pregnant, just pissed and wet!"
"I offered a homeless man the rest of my Pumpkin Spiced Latte.. He said ""No thanks. I'm homeless, not a fag."""
"Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead."
"I paid $5.99 for The Interview. I now want North Korea to kill me."
"Why do people smile in Africa? So they won't run into each other in the dark."
"[creepy mansion] ME: That portrait is watching us MAN: No way ME: [goes right up to portrait] I'm vegan PORTRAIT: [rolls eyes] ME: I knew it"
"Do you ever feel bored on reddit, because you read everything already? I guess you could say you've reddit already"
"Why did the astronomer hit himself on the head in the afternoon? He wanted to see stars during the day."