75665

Joke of the Day

"Donald Trump is banning pre-shredded cheese And making America grate again"

"wife: dont do anything stupid on the way out me: i wont [shakes priest's hand after lovely wedding ceremony] me: so are you god's boyfriend?"

"People call me ugly until they see my wallet Then they call me poor"

"Your honor, the victim was stabbed 18 times. (Capri Sun Court)"

"What do you call a blind deer? No eye deer"

"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.."

"A blonde walks into a library... No, that's it. That's the joke."

"Did you hear about the guy that went to court over a stolen bag? It was a brief case."

"What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common ? They both have 'the' as their middle names !"

"What is the difference between a physicist and a biologist? A physicist is atoms studying themselves, while a biologist is cells that study themselves."