209946

Joke of the Day

"the early bird gets the worm but so does the bird that gets outta bed around 1pm because there are plenty of worms out there believe me"

"There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who pee in the shower.. and fucking liars."

"UK Scientist: We've engineered a new species of cyanobacteria U.S. scientist: We've made pigs in a blanket 50% piggier"

"Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it."

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house."

"Damn girl you like ice Tea Like Mr. T but cooler"

"What does the Starship Enterprise have in common with toilet paper? They both circle Ur-anus in search of cling- ons. Boom! Still got it."

"What's the difference between a tribe of pygmies and a female track team? One is a cunning bunch of runts..."

"Soon we'll all have to sign an apartment lease, sign up for electricity, and water, and cable, and school didn't teach any of this."

"The inventor of rock, paper, scissors must have been an extremely dangerous man if he considered paper a weapon."