75512

Joke of the Day

"Virginia wolf More like Virginia woof"

"""I don't understand what this statue of a man talking is supposed to mean"" ""It's confusing, but I think it's a figure of speech."""

"Heidi Klum was waiting for a call from Donald Trump She never got it.. His phone was only 99.99% charged so he couldn't do it."

"Just need to grow I wanted to grow my own food but I couldn't get bacon seeds anywhere."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Alvin ! Alvin who ! Alvin zis competition - just vait and see!"

"Just named my dog Naked. Now im going to walk naked down the street eveyday."

"How do you tell the difference between a physicist and a plumber? Ask them to say the word 'unionized'."

"How my day went today 1. Woke up 2. Went to work 3. Saw hot girl 4. Kissed the girl Too bad it happened in the order 2,3,4,1."

"I think I know why the black iPhone is completely faster than my white one. I am also very racist."

"[god designing humans] Angel: there was a mix-up at the factory. The intestines are way too long God: *stuffing em all in there* I got this"