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Joke of the Day
"Hipster sushi restaurants only serve eye rolls."
Next Joke
"No matter how compelling and convincing the other person's argument is, you can always win a debate by adding ""yeah, but still"" at the end."
"Documentary I just finished watching a documentary on time machines. That's 3 hours of my life I'll probably get back."
"You know what they say, ""liquor before beer, you still have a problem but cute rhymes make it less clear."""
"if you fap on a plane is it hijacking?"
"Today was... ... the best day of the year"
"What did the cannibal say to his co-worker? You should stop by later. The missus and I are having people for dinner."
"Expecting your guy to be romantic all the time is like expecting you to behave like a porn star all the time."
"My dog got hit by a train today & we found out my brother didn't make parole. Talk about a case of the Mondays!!"
"I went outside without makeup on. A child cried and I think a bird flew into a window on purpose."