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Joke of the Day

"How did the mathematician solve his constipation problems? The same way he solved all other problems: He worked it out with a pencil and paper."

"when I was a kid, our family was very poor.... I remember when my dad was cutting onions and our whole family was crying. poor onions. he was such a good dog"

"What was Dr Frankenstein's second job? He was a body-builder"

"Son, I found some drugs in your backpack ""Dad I swear they're not mine"" DAMMIT SUSAN, THEY ARENT HIS. 1st time we were proud and you blew it"

"What do you call an exam that a Biology major almost failed? Biodegradable."

"Did you hear about the carnival fires? They were intense."

"In school it be like 2+2=4. Homework: 2x8+3=19. Then the test: Juan has 4 apples, his train is 7 minutes early, calculate the suns mass. Wtf"

""" I made my famous dip for the office party"" You're a regular Abe Lincoln. ""But he wasn't a chef"" Exactly"

"What do you call a ring of iron atoms? A ferrous wheel."

"An auk breathes from his ass One day he sits down and dies."