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Joke of the Day
"An auk breathes from his ass One day he sits down and dies."
Next Joke
"I finally figured out what I wanna be when I get older...........................Younger!"
"People have put Kim and Kanye's names together to get, Kimye'....I think a more accurate name would be.....Slunt."
"What do you call a person with short-term memory loss? I forget..."
"Robber: Give me your valuables Me: *hands him piece of paper* Robber: What's this? Me: My Netflix password."
"Interviewer: where do ya see yourself in 5yrs Me: going through a Denny's trash bin I: but you might get this job M: haha that's... irrelevant"
"I contemplated suicide earlier. Then I thought about homicide. Finally I thought f*ck it, I hate crosswords, I'm off to the pub."
"Why did the zombie turtle have so much trouble dancing? Rigor tortoise."
"What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese"
"Why does the mermaid wear seashells? She grew out of her b-shells."