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Joke of the Day

"Make sure your blind date from the internet has a big car. Nothing worse than a trunk with no leg room."

"""What doesn't kill you makes you smaller."" ~Mario"

"Saved my gall bladder in a jar so when they ask me at the DMV if I want to be an organ donor, I can put it on the counter and say, ""YES!"""

"My wife accused me of being immature... So I told her to get out of my fort."

"What do you say if your peeing in Ireland and spot a leprechaun? Urine luck"

"What do you call the useless bit of skin at the end of a penis? A Man."

"<----- gave a man a heart attack by admitting he was right"

"Geez, I'm so sorry...I'm not normally ticklish. (me to the nail lady I just kicked in the face during my pedicure)"

"What do you call and Irishman who works in a French cafe? Paddy Hor D'oeuvre"

"Why couldn't the chameleon change colors? It had reptile dysfunction."