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Joke of the Day

"Why doesn't George R.R Martin use Twitter? Because he killed off all 140 characters."

"Why did China write such a shit constitution? Because two Wongs can't make a right!"

"Nothing can destroy your good opinion of a company quicker than working for them."

"They say travel broadens the mind... Except for Americans, where it just seems to widen the arse (Jimmy Carr)"

"Why did I divide sin by tan? just cos."

"Did you know Princess Di had dandruff? Yeah, they found her head and shoulders in the dashboard."

"If pronouncing my b's as v's makes me sound Russian, Then soviet."

"What are the odds I could find the sum of numbers from 1-100? I'd say it's fifty fifty"

"I got caught in police speed trap yesterday. The officer walked up to my car and said ""I've been waiting all day for you "" Well I said. I got here as fast as I could."

"Why are muslim people so kind-hearted? Because they don't live long, especially when they're a bomb"