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Joke of the Day

"They say travel broadens the mind... Except for Americans, where it just seems to widen the arse (Jimmy Carr)"

"I asked my friend if he wanted to hear some dubstep. He said, ""Tech, no!"""

"The Insurmountable problem by Major Setback"

"I love pressing buttons, so as you could imagine this makes it really difficult for me to be around nipples."

"Not a single one of my girlfriends has stuck around to see how many old school WWF finishing moves I know."

"What do you call homosexual Israelites? Fruit Jews"

"[Clinic waiting room] Me: WHEN DO WE DO BUTT STUFF??! Nurse: Sir don't shout that! Me: [whispering to old lady next to me] butt stuff. when?"

"Why do teenage girls go to the bathroom in 3s and 5s? Because they literally can't even."

"What do you call a noodle that likes Reggae? A Pastafarian."

"Little known fact: The toothbrush originated in Alabama. Everywhere else it was called a teethbrush."