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Joke of the Day

"So apparently Justin Timberlake is going to write a song for all the people that have been devastated by the crisis in Ukraine. It's going to be called 'Crimea River'."

"If your gift says ""from Mom and Dad"" you just know Dad has absolutely no idea what's inside it."

"Maybe if we press ""2"" for Spanish, we'll actually get someone that speaks English better then the person on the ""1"" line."

"A Cobra wanted to fight me but I challenged him to a thumb war and he slitthered away embarrassed."

"My wife and I have agreed on a trial separation. The kids aren't to keen, but my wife and I just don't want them anymore."

"What's the difference between a Philosophy major and a cashier at KFC? A job application."

"U2 just announced their world tour. Do I need to buy tickets or are they going to break into my house and start playing?"

"Nothing says you're in the Christmas spirit quite like searching 'Christmas' on Pornhub."

"My new neighbor's super hot but I haven't tried to take her out yet... When I checked the oven, she wasn't quite done."

"*at bank* I always think it's funny when I go to the bank because my last name is Banks Teller: ""haha. First name?"" *Pulls out gun* Robin"