75233

Joke of the Day

"I woke up the other day and had really bad bed head. Never called her again."

"Q: Why does a viola burn longer than a violin? A: It is usually still in the case."

"A set of gold chains would be a great retirement gift.. For a really good slave."

"Mommy, they call me nymphomaniac at school... -Don't worry Lissa, it's just kid's stuff. Now you go to sleep before dark, or the Boogeyman will come at eat you. -Yeah! He should come and eat my pussy!"

"What did the Native American pornstar call himself? Spread Eagle"

"Who the hell is this Rorschach guy? And why does he keep drawing pictures of my parents fighting?"

"Every time Nicki Minaj tells someone their voice isn't good enough on Idols, someone is crushed to death by the weight of the irony."

"Girlfriend: ""Does this dress make me look fat?"" Me: ""Stop blaming the dresses."

"""What are all those wires?"" ""My wireless internet."" (New Yorker cartoon ideas)"

"What do the Japanese do when they have an erection? They vote, you lacist."