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Joke of the Day

"ER Dr: What are you doing? Me: I'm decorating. ER Dr: Why? Me: According to my bill I live here now."

"Did you hear about the priest that had a Nicotine patch on his dick? (NSFW) He's cut back to two butts a week"

"I'm not an alcoholic, an alcoholic NEEDS a drink... I already have one"

"How do you know your sister is on her period?..... Your father's dick tastes like blood..."

"My little brother is the sweetest kid. Butter wouldn't melt in his mouth. Stillborn."

"NYPD officers accidentally shot two tourists in Times Square, but in the cop's defense, the tourists were about to eat at Olive Garden"

"Q: How many Orthodox Rabbis does it take to change a light bulb? A: Change?"

"I was gonna make a gay joke. Butt fuck it."

"Yesterday i accidentally cut off the left side of my body! Im all right now."

"Why did Jeb Bush cross the road? To get to the other side! ^^Please ^^Clap"