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Joke of the Day
"I'm torn between having wish you were here' or look behind you' engraved on my headstone."
Next Joke
"A Blonde Walks Into A Bar... she says ""OUCH""."
"A tassel walks into a bar... The bartender yells out ""Hey, you have to leave! We don't serve ropes here!"" The tassel grins and says ""Nope, I'm a Frayed knot!"""
"What do you call a dyslexic insomniac philosopher? A person who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog."
"Wanna hear my vegetable joke? Nah, It's too corny."
"The best salesperson ever was the first woman to shave off her eyebrows and draw them back on, then convince a second woman to do it."
"That outfit is very becoming on you Then again, if I was on you, I would be cumming, too."
"This morning I was at the atm when an elderly woman asked if I could check her balance So I pushed her over"
"""Tired"" isn't even a temporary state for me anymore it's more like a part of my personality at this point."
"I just saw three dudes wearing denim shirts with denim jeans. Who's responsible for this shit? Canada? Was it you, Canada?"