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Joke of the Day

"I just saw three dudes wearing denim shirts with denim jeans. Who's responsible for this shit? Canada? Was it you, Canada?"

"Sick of tweeting. Switching to faxing. What's everybody's fax numbers?"

"Guess what Spain is Chicken anus"

"Babies are terrible at running their own small businesses."

"No checks (Czechs are welcome)."

"Beeped my horn at this cute guy who walked by. He shot me a dirty look. He's playing hard to get, but I've started planning the wedding!"

"A new vending machine opened up at isis headquarters today... It was called the allahu snackbar."

"Yesterday, I got so depressed.. ..I spent entire day listening to Celine Dion records. . . Or that's what I thought until I realised my cat had fallen in to the dryer."

"Jokes on you hot chick at the bar who gave me a radio station's phone number I just won Harlem Globetrotter tickets and a Bud Light poncho."

"Why isn't your nose 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot"