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Joke of the Day

"Take your height in centimeters and multiply it by the number of people from whom you have received oral sex. There's your credit score."

"My wife caught me crossdressing. So I packed her things and left."

"My mum asked me if I had taken my lizard for a walk... ... I told her I was goanna do it later."

"Everyone has a photographic memory, some don't have film."

"Women are like the Call of Duty games. If you play them for too long, you'll end up alone."

"Capitalization is important There's a big difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse."

"What's a cow's favorite form of entertainment? The moovies"

"The richest man is not he who has the most, but he who needs the least."

"What did the late arriving cannibal receive at the dinner party? The cold shoulder."

"Jesus has seen me naked and that's why he made me funny."