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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't cry when you cut up a hooker."

"Hockey is the only place where Waving your stick in someones face will get you the box."

"What kind of doctor is always on call? An oncologist! ... I made this one up last night but I'm sure someone has thought of it before."

"What do you call a circus full of mean people? A jerkus."

"I just saw a pregnant woman I'd like to make double-pregnant."

"Stuck in my first infinite loop: two Canadians saying sorry to one another."

"How many psychiatrists dose it take to change a light bulb? One, but the light bulb has to want to change."

"My need for caffeine is so bad I'm going to AA for the free coffee"

"How do farmers party? They turnip the beets!"

"I've decided to leave my past behind me.. So if I owed you money- I'm sorry but I've moved on."