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Joke of the Day
"What do thanksgiving dinner and the refugee crisis in Europe have in common? Turkey and grease"
Next Joke
"Nothing much worse than being forced to listen to someone else's music and not be able to tell them their taste is shit."
"Movie Idea: Michael Cera falls down a spiral staircase then pets a cat."
"My talking dog gave me a stick the other day and told me he found it 600 miles away. That's a bit far-fetched"
"I've started handing out guns to large men at gay clubs. Just exercising my right to arm bears."
"How come an extremely angry woman can pack everything she owns in an hour, but it takes her a week to pack for vacation?"
"Why does my shampoo smell like gasoline? And when did my wife start smoking?"
"What's the coolest kind of surgery? Hip surgery."
"I got in touch with my inner self today. That's the last time I buy cheap toilet paper."
"So I was all ""I'm not taking any shit from you, bitch"" and she was all ""to speak to a member of our customer service team, press 1""."