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Joke of the Day

"I can't watch porn with a storyline cause I get too invested and end up worrying about the delivery man losing his job for taking so long :("

"A week before Abraham Lincoln was shot he was in Monroe, Maryland... A week before Kennedy was shot he was in Marilyn Monroe."

"Whoever stole my copy of Office 365, I will find you You have my Word."

"You know what I hate about Reddit? [Removed]"

"Diets are like ghosts. They might exist, but I wouldn't know."

"Why do scuba divers fall backwards of boats If they fell forwards they would be on the boat"

"When the machines become self aware their first order of business will be changing our perception of how robots dance."

"Why are black cats such good singers? They're very mewsical."

"If the Terminator was female the line would have been, ""I might be back, I haven't decided yet."""

"What do Asians do when they have erections? They vote"