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Joke of the Day
"Just remember that whatever you put up with, you end up with."
Next Joke
"I'm kind of scared. So, last week I swallowed an ice cube whole and I haven't pooped it out yet. I'm getting kinda worried, should I go see a doctor or nah?"
"My wife wanted to spice up our sex life. So she asks me if I wanna have a threesome. I said, ""Sweetie. If I ever have sex with two women at the same time..... neither one is gonna be you."""
"I don't see the point of being a godmother if the kid refuses to kiss my ring. I mean, what the hell?"
"The year is 2543. Beyblades are a form of currency. Everyone speaks in emoji. President Woof outlaws all cats. Madonna releases a new single"
"bet i can make you wipe your screen"
"An Indian friend of mine used to hit his wife every night at 7.30... ..on the dot."
"Nice try, operating instructions. Nice try. I've got this. *grabs a hammer*"
"Do you think people who chanted ""Drill baby, drill!"" for Palin had even a flicker of self awareness while watching Avatar?"
"When I was a kid, you could go into a corner shop with $1 and come out with 2 cokes, 3 Freedos and a magazine. Nowadays, CCTV everywhere."