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Joke of the Day

"There is no such thing as Internet stalking. Stalking requires physical activity. Fun activity like softly brushing your hair at night Sarah"

"I am not an alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, I already have one."

"Million Dollar Idea: A pot pie. Only bigger. And filled instead with fruit. Apples perhaps."

"I was asked to grade Caitlyn Jenner I went with a D-"

"Alcohol is never the answer...... Unless the question is, ""What is C2H5OH?"""

"I remember.. going to a store with 20$ and coming home with groceries to last for a week. But now? Damn security cameras everywhere.."

"Why didn't the bunny hop? No bunny knows... :("

"The Tortoise and the Hare is a classic story about how people who like to run are awful."

"""Describe 2016 in 4 words"" ""That's a tomorrow problem"""

"Well - It's not the first time Donald has left a Bush disappointed..."