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Joke of the Day
"Nothing creepier than a grown man drinking a glass of milk."
Next Joke
"[god inventing animals] okay here's a new one. It's an umbrella ""okay"" made out of jello ""alright"" and it electrocutes things ""you're drunk"""
"Q: How can you tell when Bill Clinton is lying? A: Only a Bill Clinton supporter is too dumb to know the answer to this one."
"Just got the iPhone 7. It helped me lose weight! I now have no money to eat for 2 months"
"What do you get when you mix an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic? A person who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog."
"What was Poppin Fresh's new name after he was put into the witness protection program? John Dough"
"My kid missed the school bus, instantly resulting in drama & tears. But now that I've had a few cocktails, I'm OK."
"How many anesthesiologists does it... take... to... ... change... ... a... ... ... ... ..."
"What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist fuck!"
"Finally cleaned out the fridge to make meal planning easier. Tonight, we're having buttered olives with mustard and baking soda."