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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you mix an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic? A person who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog."

"When asked if they would have sex with Bill Clinton, 86% of women in D.C. said, ""Not again."""

"after watching the Cricket for a few hours I think I finally understand it they make that noise by rubbing their wings together"

"How do you fit an elephant into a Safeway bag? Take the ""f"" out of the word ""way"". (get it yet...?)"

"Today, the doctor told me that the bottom of my heart has stopped functioning. My girlfriend will be disappointed; that's the part I loved her from."

"I'm Black. So I can't be racist. But these suckers keep telling me that I am. ""Jake, you can't call yourself Black just because you went to jail once. That is racist"""

"""I knew he was the murderer when I saw him on the dance floor,"" Holmes said. ""You see, Watson, guilty feet have got no rhythm."""

"He died doing what he loved, my now ex-wife"

"I own far too many ""....For Dummies"" books to have healthy self esteem."

"There should be only one World's Greatest Dad shirt. And you should have to kill the previous owner to wear it."