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Joke of the Day

"I took some pictures of my girlfriend's butt this morning I'm saving them for posteriority."

"What do you call midget psychic on the run? A small medium at large."

"What do you do when you are riding on the back of a zebra, right next to a camel, and a lion won't stop chasing you? Get off the carousel, dumb ass. You're drunk."

"So I'm out in the woods taking a shit when... ...a bear strolls up, cocks his head with a funny expression, and says, ""I never knew you guys did that."""

"FOX new has saved my legs! I got into a terridle car crash and and lost the use of my legs. When I was in the hospital, FOX news came on the TV. I got up to change the channel."

"I used to believe that I had MPD. But I convinced my other self that I didn't."

"Q: Why wasn't there any food after the monster party? A: Because everyone was a goblin."

"I totally understand how batteries feel because I'm rarely ever included in things either"

"What's the most redundant sentence you can come up with? -department of redundancy department"

"What do you get when you mix an octopus with a black guy? Idk but it sure as hell can pick cotton"