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Joke of the Day

"FOX new has saved my legs! I got into a terridle car crash and and lost the use of my legs. When I was in the hospital, FOX news came on the TV. I got up to change the channel."

"what did lowes say when home depot kickcked him in the crotch ouch menards (my nards). lolz"

"A young girl asks her father. A young girl asks her father ""Daddy what does the word slut mean?"" Father ""Sweetie don't use that word, your mother will be offended"""

"All I'm saying is there's a reason all the best love songs have the word crazy in them..."

"My wife is weird... She begins every conversation with ""Were you even listening to me?"""

"Christmas Chimney Congestion Q: Why doesn't Santa have any children?A: He only comes once a year -- and when he does, it's down a chimney."

"Government Shutdown: Day 13 Anthony Weiner decides to help. He takes a photo. He tweets. Congress now sees where balls are located."

"I had a scary moment when..... I had a scary moment when I was opening my new expensive furniture with a stanley knife. I damn near slit my shelf"

"Two men walk into a bar... ... but a third man ducks."

"Rene Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""Would you like a beer?"" Descartes replies, ""I think not,"" and promptly disappears."