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Joke of the Day

"I went to the zoo the other day.. I went to the zoo the other day and all they had was a dog. It was a shihtzu."

"Why can't a vegetable win an argument? Cuz he always uses a straw, man!"

"What do you call a Mexican fighting a priest? Alien vs. Predator"

"You have to be pretty ballsy... to get a Vasectomy..."

"Why didn't the art thief get away? Because he didn't have to Monet to pay the Guy to make the Van Gogh."

"What did the Doe say when she walked out of the bushes? I'll never do that for two bucks again."

"Took my pet lion in an elevator along with shocked shoppers this morning. There was quite an uproar."

"Somebody has stolen my Microsoft office But I will find them. You have my Word."

"*wakes up in a cold sweat* Ohhhh OVERALLS because you wear them over all your other clothes"

"My girlfriend got mad and said she need some time and distance as she left the house crying... I still don't get it why she wants to calculate the velocity"