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Joke of the Day

"Why didn't the art thief get away? Because he didn't have to Monet to pay the Guy to make the Van Gogh."

"Yo mama is so fat ... she might die from a Cardiovascular Disease"

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? It may take me a minute to get hard, I just got laid by this chick."

"Who are all these people Twitter wants me to follow? Has the fail whale been stalking me. Help, stranger danger!"

"I like my slaves like I like my eggs. Beaten."

"Why are astronomers so popular with the ladies? Chicks dig stars."

"So I tried to tell a friend of mine an Isis joke... but it was poorly executed"

"Are you a monosaccharide? 'Cause sugar, you're basic."

"I saw a chameleon today... ...guess it was a pretty shitty chameleon. *I submitted this joke a few years ago, I'm reposting myself (which was originally also a repost)*"

"A new yoga student after his first class approached his attractive female instructor and said ""I heard you're into fitness..."" How about fitness dick in your mouth!?"