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Joke of the Day

"I didn't hold open a door for a woman and she said 'I suppose Chivalry is dead' So I put my sword through her heart to prove otherwise."

"911 what's your emergency? I FARTED ON THE FIRST DATE. Ma'am we don't-- IT SOUNDED LIKE A BALLOON ANIMAL ASKING A QUESTION"

"Have you been shopping for a dishwasher lately? I have Juan on sale."

"Did you know that Jose is an American name? It's mentioned in the very first line of the U.S. National Anthem."

"What letter appears most frequently in the word CANADA?"

"What do you call a country ruled by dank memes? Kappatalism"

"Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven was a Six offender."

"If I had a dollar for every time a homeless person asked me for money... I'd still say no."

"Here's how I made my dick 10 inches long... I folded it in half."

"A MEXICAN AND A BLACK MAN JUMP OFF A ROOF. WHO LANDS FIRST? A: WHO CARES"