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Joke of the Day

"Superman could have become a doctor, using his x-ray vision to detect life threatening tumors. But no, we really needed another journalist."

Next Joke
 
"Her: You need to text faster Me: Not sure what you just sent. I'm still working on the texts from 3 weeks ago"
"The funniest joke I have EVER seen on /r/funny You."
"An Englishman, an Irishman and a Welshman all walk into a bar the barman looks up at them, shakes his head and says ""is this some kind of a joke?"""
"What do you call a display of Australian patriotism? Stockholm Syndrome."
"My roommate says I have schizophrenia Jokes on him! I don't have a roommate"
"Why would anyone lie about liking big butts?"
"You're so vain, you probably think me driving by your house 27 times at 2 a.m. wearing all black with binoculars is about you, don't you."
"The only thing I'd like for you to say behind my back is ""Do you like that?"""
"""I enjoy working with a hammer, but I don't want a blue collar job."" - Everyone who eventually becomes a judge."