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Joke of the Day

"Her: You need to text faster Me: Not sure what you just sent. I'm still working on the texts from 3 weeks ago"

"""I'll just stagger around yelling random, incoherent shit as people try to keep me from hurting myself."" Drunks and 1 year olds."

"TRIVIA: The sinking of the Titanic in 1912 cost 1,502 lives. Adjusting for inflation, that would be over 8,500 people today!"

"Dog Teacher: did you finish your homework Dog Student: (still chewing) almost"

"What is the best part about having sex with a gypsy on her period? When you finger her, you get your palm red for free."

"Mirror inspector Now that's a job I could really see myself doing"

"Feminazis love Game of Thrones........ Cause all men must die"

"What do you call a bear with no teeth?? A gummy bear!!!"

"Sure my mom birthed & raised me, but I've had to explain how to check her email 95,000 times, so let's just call it even."

"Saint Peter in Heaven So, I was in the mood for some ""Saint Peter in the gates of Heaven"" jokes... Anyone have something?"