74590

Joke of the Day

"In the middle ages, it didn't take long to learn human anatomy. You could learn it all with one knight and a scalpel."

"You ever get laid in a sleeping bag? It's awful. You can't even move, you're drenched in sweat, and your scout master is covering your mouth."

"What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? Corduroy."

"I'll always be here for you.... Unless we run out of beer, and someone has some over there. Then I'll be over there for you."

"4 yr old daughter calls her ankle bones ""my balls"" in case you were wondering if I was raising geniuses over here."

"I bought a pair of shoes from a ginger. I have no idea why he sold them to me, they have no soles."

"Every time I go into my boss' office she tells me ""take a seat"". I have 14 now."

"Doctor: You seem to be in excellent health. Your pulse is as regular as clockwork. Patient: That's because you've got your hand on my watch!"

"Bitches be misusing helping verbs."

"GOD: Done! Every animal niche perfectly filled WOODPECKERS: We didn't get anything GOD: Oh. Uh...just pound trees with your face"