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Joke of the Day

"What do ISIS want for Christmas? Turkey, apparently."

"My favorite underwear is camouflage... Because no one can see me cumming."

"*pulls handle on slot machine *prune *prune *prune *diarrhea comes out"

"Why are orphans bad at baseball? They don't know where home is."

"What is Forrest Gump's favorite type of pasta? Penne"

"You do understand ""Tan"" and ""Orange"" are 2 very different colors right?"

"Masturbating while hooked up to a heart monitor can really mess with a hospital staff They never know if you're coming or going"

"Why are there so many body shops in heaven? Abortion."

"Nice hourglass figure, girl. Wanna come back to my place and stand on your head so my friends and I can keep time while we play Pictionary?"

"Who do you sell second hand bikes to? A re-cyclist."