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Joke of the Day

"I tied a string around my finger to remind me about World Leprosy Week, but it fell off."

"How many optometrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? One? Or two? One? .... Or two?"

"Right now, someone is wearing cargo pants and getting away with it. I can't even concentrate on my book."

"TIFU by being King of the jungle. Lololol I am Lion"

"Love that show where they lure loan officers into a house with mending, To Patch a Creditor."

"We all know that light travels faster than sound. That's why certain people appear bright until you hear them speak."

"What do you call a turkey with no arms? a turkey"

"Whenever I see a teenager, I can't help thinking"" holy shit"" was I really THAT fucking stupid once?"

"What do you call a basin full of denim? A gene pool!"

"Wife leaves: Ok. Wifi leaves: NOOOOOOOOOO. I can change!"