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Joke of the Day

"I've never been held hostage but I've been on a group text."

"Q: How so you call a member of the finacial staff of the faculty of Biology? A: A Buy-ologist."

"Did you hear about the dyslexic occultist? He sold his soul to Santa."

"What do you call it when you do a skateboarding trick over your parent's genitals? A Freudian Flip."

"So I was fingering my sister the other day. She said ""wow you do it just like dad!"" I replied ""thats what mom said"" then I found my brothers wedding ring."

"I just put a client on hold for five minutes while I went to the break room to heat up a burrito in case you wondered about my work ethic."

"A guy wraps himself in plastic wrap, no clothes or anything and walks into a psychologists office. The first thing she says is, ""I can see your nuts."""

"It's been so hot lately, so I finally got a new AC... and i nicknamed it DIRK cuz it's so clutch against the heat."

"Scientists thought they had found a limb of an ancient hominid... but it was just a fossil arm."

"The Gay Magician Hey, Did you hear about the gay magician?........... He pulled a rabbit out of his ass!"