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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the dyslexic occultist? He sold his soul to Santa."
Next Joke
"What do you call somebody who is content being average sized? A happy medium."
"wife: you're listening to too much theatrical heavy metal Me: behold! The weaver of lies! A dark seamstress of shadows lurks amongst us"
"If your key ring is full of keychains with clever sayings, plus a stick filled with glittery water, I know you had a baby in high school."
"Why are 9/11 victims great readers? They can go through 90 stories in 10 seconds"
"How do you find Will Smith in a snow storm? You follow his FRESH PRINTS!"
"George Michael walks into a bar... The barman says, ""George, you've got chocolate on your shirt!"". ""I know,"" replies George, ""It was a Careless Wispa."""
"Wife: He's your son! Me: So you say! But I don't... *Kid dances across the room to the Benny Hill theme song* Me: ...ok fine he's my son."
"A man walks into a bar... ....and says ""ouch""...."
"There are 10 kinds of people in this world... ... Those who can count binary and those who can't."