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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the dyslexic occultist? He sold his soul to Santa."

"I farted on an elevator, it was wrong on so many levels. From /r/PeterL"

"Lady Astronaut: *eats all the chocolate* Guy Astronaut: You know we're on the space shuttle for- LA: SHUTTLE YOUR MOUTH AND GIVE ME SPACE"

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. Steve Martin: A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."

"How did the chicken cross the freeway? You take the 'F' out of free and the 'F' out of way. Hint: say everything out loud."

"Two men and one woman are in a plane crash, and they end up on a desert island. The men have sex with the woman for about a week, and one day they stop. Why? Her body was starting to smell."

"I've always wanted to know how long ""forever"" was... and by looking at some peoples relationships its around 2 to 4 weeks."

"The clowns I hire always seem surprised to find I'm the only party guest."

"Mark Zuckerberg came up with the idea for Facebook when he was at a party & a racist uncle wrote a bible quote on a painting then poked him"

"I hate being that creepy guy outside your window, but damn girl it's 7:30 already. You're gonna be late for work."