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Joke of the Day

"One time I got Starmix and Tangfastics mixed up... ...it was a Haribo mistake."

"How many North Koreans does it take to change a light bulb? One, only **Glorious Leader** gets access to light bulbs"

"please spread kale over my dumb organic gluten free casket"

"Women, If you could just go ahead, get a plane & spell it out in the sky for us, that'd be greeeat. Sincerely, Men"

"What part of the hospital does John Cena hate the most? the ICU"

"There's this guy at work who's giving his wife a gym membership & a vegetable juicer for her birthday tomorrow. His name was Tom."

"There are two kinds of people... Those who can't finish other peoples sentences..."

"Just been chatting to my neighbor's teenage daughter It turns out she's really into aliens and UFOs Which is cool because tommorow she's getting abducted"

"A doctor to his patient. Doctor: Sir, we have some good news and some bad news, the good news is that you've got a day left to live, the bad news is I forgot to tell you that yesterday."

"[first date] ""I learned to crochet in prison... Now you say something."""