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Joke of the Day

"Mommy, why am I getting my Christmas presents in august? ""Because it's cheaper than chemo"""

"Some people have 32 teeth while others have 10... It's simple meth."

"What did the leper say to the prostitute? ""Keep the tip!"""

"Girlfriend: Ok you hang up :-) Boyfriend: No You hang up first :-) Girlfriend: no you first Boyfriend: No you first NSA: both of you hang up"

"Q: Why do Blondes wear padded shoulders? A: So they don't get a concussion while bobbing their from head side to side as they are saying ""I don't know?"" whenever you ask them a question."

"Why do women fake orgasms? Because they think men actually care if they cum."

"A rough, hard drinking baseball umpire was upset because he couldn't get his little boy to sit on his lap and talk to him. After all, the son never sits on the brutish umpire."

"A jew buys a round of drinks for the entire bar ."

"If Trump replaces Obama as president, Orange will be the new Black."

"Why did the chicken double-cross the road? To change sides."