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Joke of the Day

"STAGES OF DRUNK: 1. Wow. I can dance. 2. All hats look GOOD on me. 3. Shhh. Don't wake up the cows."

"If you want us to know how much you love biking, we better see your cock and balls through your shorts."

"A dark, dark joke What's the difference between molestation and rape? You remember rape"

"[Pours goldfish into aquarium] You're free now ""Mom? You know those are just crackers, right?"""

"A Roman walks into a bar an orders a martinus. ""You mean a martini?"" asks the bartender. The Roman replies, ""If I wanted more than one I would have said martini"""

"What did the zero say to the eight? ""Nice belt, fuck face."""

"WIFE: you're so overly dramatic ME: no i'm not [10 hired backup singers burst through the wall shouting ""no he's not""] dammit guys, not now"

"A man is standing on the top of a tall building about to commit suicide... ...when a physicist at the bottom shouts up, ""Don't do it! You have so much potential!"""

"How does a penguin build its house ? Igloos it together"

"How do you get a kid to stay low to the ground? ""DUCK!"" How do you get a kid up and running? ""GOOSE!"""