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Joke of the Day

"You know, if grapes actually tasted like ""grape-flavored"" stuff then maybe life wouldn't seem like such a lie all the time."

"What do you call a fish that is good for your bones? An orthopedic sturgeon. :D ?"

"Star Wars Rogue One - Crap Joke Casian - 'Jyn, we need to refuel our ship!' Jyn - 'K, to Esso!'"

"My wife is much happier with a beer inside her. I just wish she'd drink it afterwards."

"Bottom line: parenting interferes with my ability to be lazy."

"Interview tip: maintain eye contact. If they try to look at documents, put your head between them and the documents."

"i dont see why i should have to brush my teeth. you dont brush the rest of your bones, do you? its ridiculous."

"What do you call it when the women in the back of a mexican brothel talk after working all night? Whorechata. Probably my best original, lemme know what you think."

"My girlfriend disliked my obsession with Japanese food Sushi left me."

"I call realtors advertising on bus stop benches and ask them the bus schedule."