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Joke of the Day
"Why aren't snowmen called snow women? Because they're in the kitchen melting."
Next Joke
"Divorce court is like regular court except the judge sentences you to freedom."
"I accidentally pushed 2 for Spanish and the operator spoke perfect, fluent English"
"Why should you never shout at a pirate? Because it hurts their buccaneers. (Sorry it's lame, I just made it up)"
"My girlfriend says I've got commitment issues.... Well she's not really my girlfriend, more of a wife. -Stuart Francis"
"Why do ants get sick? Because they have little anty-bodies."
"I'm never at a loss for words when I'm drunk. I just can't pronounce most of them and I make up three or four new one's."
"If my dad was president of this country... There would be no Isis. It would be Waswas. Dad walked in to the kitchen and dropped this on me."
"What do you call someone from Massachusetts who murders a bunch of Catholics? A Mass. Mass Mass Murderer."
"So there I was, balls deep in a jar of mayonnaise. When I said to myself, ""Self..."" ""I shoulda made a sandwich first."""