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Joke of the Day

"Halloween and Valentine's day are pretty much the same thing... people dress up and pretend to be someone they're not for some sugar"

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"What is the quickest way to double your money ? Fold it in half !"
"Trump wants to build a wall between Canada and the U.S. also Please... please do it... us Canadians will even gladly pay for it"
"What is a chinese homosexual videogamer called? Gay Ming"
"A moral compass is just a clock that isn't drunk enough."
"What do you do, if you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologise."
"Buying little gold star stickers so when people I'm speaking with say things I like I'll stick one on their forehead."
"What do you call someone who failed rehab? Back on crack"
"REMINDER: If men could get pregnant, birth control would be in Hooters' wing sauce."
"[grocery shopping] ""Actually it should be 15 items or FEWER"" I'll fix that sir [grabs mic] CUSTOMER NEEDS HELP FINDING EXTRA SMALL CONDOMS"