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Joke of the Day

"This bathroom attendant is a little overzealous. I can shake ""it"" myself. Also, I am not in the bathroom."

"""This is NPR."" Yeah, we know. You just spent the past 4 minutes whispering the news over a jazz saxophone solo."

"What is 50 Cent's guiding philosophy? Be the change you want to see in the world."

"Careful girls... fat guys just want to get into your pantries."

"Every Dildo sold in North Korea. Is a Kim Jong IL Do."

"It's all fun and games until your iPhone is at 10% power."

"Why is Donald Trump a good candidate? Because if he was bad he'd be a CANTdidate."

"My daughter's boyfriend left his wallet here. I put girls names & numbers in it. Later today I'll ask my daughter if he has change for a $20"

"How many potatoe does it take to kill a Latvian? none (inspired by /u/aces613 )"

"How many Hillary Clinton supporters does it take to screw in a light-bulb? None. They like to live in the darkness."