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Joke of the Day

"How many potatoe does it take to kill a Latvian? none (inspired by /u/aces613 )"

"Knock Knock Who's there ? Cigarette ! Cigarette who ? Cigarette life if you don't weaken !"

"Me: Omg all the kids are asleep! I can finally sit and relax! Dog: Yeah. About that. *pukes all over living room*"

"How are a hobo and a balloon alike? Both are without visible means of support. (My son found that in a children's joke book)"

"No matter how stupid you feel, remember, Little Red Riding Hood couldn't figure out a talking wolf in drag wasn't her grandmother"

"Tomorrow is bring your hangover to work day."

"Latvian man walk into bar with mule. Bartender say, ""Why so long face?"" Latvian say, ""I was thinking of my daughter. She has been lie with soldier for potato feed baby."""

"""Are you cold?"" No dumbass, I'm on fucking vibrate mode.."

"This sushi restaurant has the worst service ever. ""Sir, this is an aquarium."""

"Eating clocks is... time consuming. Sorry."