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Joke of the Day

"Poor Susie! Q: Why couldn't Susie ride the swings? A: Because she has no arms! Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie!"

"You mean.. people run? On purpose? When nobody is chasing them?"

"Who's driving the car? Theres a muslim a mexican and black guy in a car, whos driving?.. **The cops**"

"I heard there was a website to find missing sausage.... But I couldn't find the link"

"John was at the 17th floor of a building. John hop off from the ledge and began to fall. Why didn't John die? John is a bird."

"[first date] ""What's wrong?"" I don't like the ambulance in this place [sniggering] ""You mean ambience"" [next table] NEE NAW NEE NAW WOOOOOO"

"I'm having a lot of difficulty with knitting Oops, wrong thread."

"to cause mass hysteria at a wedding, slowley turn the volum down when the ""shout"" song says ""a litle bit louder now, a litle bit louder now"""

"What's one of the worst things about giving a man a blow job? The view."

"Don't forget to get offended today by some retarded shit that has absolutely no bearing on your life whatsoever."