74052

Joke of the Day

"This may be the vodka talking, but ."

"We shouldn't send our trash into space, that's how you get space raccoons"

"Last year my ex got mad at me because I was masturbating during a shower.. ..which usually wouldn't be a big deal, but.... It was a baby shower."

"My high school bully just made my McDouble, so I guess I won; but then again I am eating at McDonald's so I guess it's a tie."

"Sometimes when you eat too much carrot, you turn orange and you run for presidency."

"HEY GRAPEFRUIT, know what else is a grape AND a fruit? GRAPES. yeah. so get your own name you citrus idiot"

"Why didn't Jesus cross the road? Because you can't cross a road when your nailed to a cross"

"What did the Italian bloodsucker say on his first date? I'm no Cassa Nova, but I've been called a Roman tic."

"What do you get when you see Bill Cosby in double-vision? Raped."

"A vaping hipster aetheist vegan crossfitter walks into a bar just kidding people like that dont exist but I imagine they do so I have someone to hate other than myself haha."