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Joke of the Day

"What did the Italian bloodsucker say on his first date? I'm no Cassa Nova, but I've been called a Roman tic."

"I read murder mystery books starting from the middle. I like the double sided suspense that builds up."

"I respect the Secret Service They are the only law enforcement agency in the country that gets in trouble if a black man gets shot."

"Paris joke (fair warning) Looks like America isn't the only ones who like their french fried. #fuckcommies #fuckterrorism #gofrance #goamerica #laughtoeasethepain"

"Where does the army keep fish? In a tank."

"It's really hard to be stealthy while carrying half a box of Tic Tacs. The more you know."

"""Of course you can trust me. Look, I'll prove it. Close your eyes and fall backwards. I'll catch you."" *Bing! Twitter notification!* Thud."

"IF all women are crazy... Then... You might as well pick a pretty one."

"Why did the manic depressive cross the freeway? To get to the *other side*"

"Maybe Van Gogh cut his ear off because someone traveled back in time and whispered a Drake song in it."