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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a bald porcupine? Pointless!"

"How are buttsex and asparagus the same? If you're forced to have it as a child, you won't enjoy it as an adult."

"An original joke about Mathew and Not-Mathew. Me:Mathew and Not-Mathew were on a boat. Mathew fell off the boat. Who was left? You:Not-Mathew. Me:Yeah Mathew was the one who fell out. Idiot."

"I don't usually spank the kids while we're in Walmart but yours were just asking for it."

"There are 10 kinds of people in this world Those who get binary, and those who don't."

"Facebook friend: If you can't handle me at my worst, then you- SHUT UP, SHANNON. YOU'RE *ALWAYS* AT YOUR WORST."

"I've been eating a lot of pineapple lately, you know what that means... I have a pineapple flavored sock under my bed."

"How is a NASA Shuttle similar to Sex with Your Mother? ... They both burn on re-entry."

"Why did Adele leave the house? So she could say Hello from the outside."

"What's the hardest thing about Rollerblading? Telling your dad you're gay."