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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a bald porcupine? Pointless!"

"I think lamps are my favorite furniture. They're always brightening up my day."

"So Ron Jeremy... ...makes his money with his penis. I've also heard that his penis is so long, he can suck it himself. Which means that Ron Jeremy can literally put his money where his mouth is."

"Today sucks but I really shouldn't complain. I've got it good compared to...well, dead people."

"Last night I had a dream I ate 10 lb. marshmallow. When I awoke, I could not find my pillow."

"Q: What do you get when you cross pasta with a snake? A: Spaghetti that winds itself around your fork."

"What's the most embarrassing part about Hillary Clinton's emails? The Nigerian Prince actually came through with the money transfer."

"What do a married guy and a single guy have in common? They both think the other one gets laid more."

"Camper: Is it easy to milk a cow? Farmer: Sure it is. Any jerk can do it."

"What did the ghost serve at his Halloween party? Hallowieners!"